NCAA Athletic Scholarships & Academics

The NCAA Recruiting Game

Academics.  Grades count.  “Core Course” requirements start the freshman year of high school for NCAA athletic scholarship eligibility.  Core courses are those that receive high school graduation credit in the following areas:  English, math, sciences, foreign languages, comparative religion, and philosophy. 

Starting August 2016, for NCAA Division I athletic eligibility, your child must achieve a 2.3 GPA in 16 core courses before high school graduation.  Seven of those 10 core courses must be in English, math or science; and ten of the 16 core courses must be completed before starting the senior year of high school.

Sports Mom 101: Mental Toughness & Student Athletes

Developing Mental Toughness in Youth Athletes

Bad Game Protocol.  An effective pre-game routine is to discuss specific “worst case scenarios” with your student-athlete and talk about how they will respond.  Working through possible worst case scenarios beforehand and accepting that mistakes will happen can reduce game-day pressure and anxiety.

Also, create space between a bad performance and post-game life lessons.  Let the sting wear off before offering constructive ideas for improvement.  Too many times I see parents replaying their son’s mistakes after a game before they even get to the car!  Give it 24 hours before having that conversation – the player will be less defensive and more receptive.  Ask open-ended questions in areas the player has control over and can improve upon like effort, attitude, intensity, concentration, and being a good teammate. 

Having these pre and post game routines is an effective way for sports mom to support her youth-athlete.

More sports parenting tips available in my sports parenting guide, "Zero Offseason" now @ www.Amazon.com

Thick Face Black Heart

Great book for sports parents, "Thick Face Black Heart."

....be willing and prepared to take the hits and move forward.

http://www.amazon.com/Thick-Face-Black-Heart-Philosophy/dp/0446670200/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1430232480&sr=8-1&keywords=thick+face+black+heart

Shoehorns & Parenting Plans

Shoehorns were not made for parenting plans.  If you try to mold a sports schedule around a parenting plan it just won't work.  Set out the sports schedule and work the parenting plan around that busy schedule.  This includes daily practices during the school year, the games, and most importantly and often overlooked the summer camps and clinics.  This is where a lot of conflict comes up due to parents planning summer vacations that conflict with sports commitments.   Parents can make a huge dent in co-parenting conflict by approaching the parenting plan in this way - set out those extracurricular activities first and work the parenting plan around those commitments.

The "Random Hurricanes of Outcome"

TED Talk by author Elizabeth Gilbert on finding balance between the roller coaster ride of success and failure.

http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_success_failure_and_the_drive_to_keep_creating

Divorce & Aligning Youth Sports Goals

Aligning Goals and Ego Summary:

1. Ask Questions:  ask your child why he or she wants to play sports.  Align    your goals to their goals (not the other way around.)

 

2. Check the Ego: do whatever it takes to create a positive, aligned set of expectations with the ex for supporting the youth athlete.  Do you or the ex fit one of the common profiles – overbearing; overcompensating; absent; passive-aggressive; or obstructionist?  Check the ego.  Do what is in the best interests of the youth athlete.

3. Who’s Experience?:  keep in mind that this is your son or daughter’s youth sports journey.  Don’t use their experience as a way to relive past glories or make up for lost time.

...more sports parenting tips at "Zero Offseason" now available @ www.amazon.com

Parenting Plans & the "Best Interest" Standard

As a divorce lawyer, I’ve seen how difficult it is for a parent to take the “high-road” when the ex is playing games and uncooperative.  But please remember the default position of doing what is in the “best interests” of the youth athlete.  

And I wish I could say that being the “bigger person” miraculously changes an ex’s bad behavior.  Chances are it won’t.  What it will do, however, is create a more positive experience for a child stuck between two warring parents. 

One anecdote I share with parents every season is Alec Baldwin vs. Kim Basinger.  After a nine year marriage, Baldwin and Basinger waged war with an eight year custody battle, involving $3M in court costs and legal fees, and 90 + court proceedings. Who benefited from that?

Punt, Pass & Kick - No Thanks

Football shouldn't be a "punt, pass and kick" contest.

Two quick fixes - teams would only be capped on the number of kicks per game:

3 field goal attempts
5 punts

Divorce & Sports Parenting - Game Plan

Divorce & Sports Parenting Tips

First Things First: develop a parenting plan that supports the yearly sports schedule, including practices, games, and summer camps.  Don’t wedge a youth sports plan into what works best for you and the ex.  Understand that sports schedules will cut into your shared parenting time.         

Child Support:  youth sports is considered an “extracurricular” activity by most state courts (check with your jurisdiction). What this means is that in many states you cannot force the ex to pay for certain sports activities in a child support plan.  Develop a game plan for approaching an uncooperative ex about sharing youth sports expenses. Explain the benefits that youth sports can provide for your child’s development. Consider low-conflict, non-litigation solutions like mediation or collaborative law to create a shared-payment plan for youth sports expenses.

Best Interests Standard:  when in doubt, fall back to the default position of doing what is in the best interests of the child.

Quick Story on Youth Sports Burnout

Former tennis star, Jennifer Capriotti, started training for 6 hours per day…at age four.  Capriotti turned pro at age 13, by age 14 she was a top ten player on tour competing against hyper-competitive players a decade older than her.  At age 17 Capriotti dropped out of tennis.  Biographies on the rise and fall of this tennis prodigy point to Capriotti’s parents’ divorce and the resulting turmoil as a contributing cause of her fall.

Dan Miller: 48 Days Podcast

Special thanks to Mr. Dan Miller from one of the top career podcasts "48 Days." Dan gave my sports parenting book, "Zero Offseason" a quick shout out on his April 10th podcast.  Very much appreciated!

Check out Dan's weekly podcast every Friday.  http://www.48days.com/

Sports Parenting & the "Blacklist"

Best Parental Practices (Team) – parents of youth athletes have a choice.  They can be an asset or detriment to team chemistry and development.  Be a “team” parent and find out how you can best support the team and coaches.  This goes a long way on the coaching tree. 

Like any other profession, the coaches talk.  Make no mistake on this point.  Coaches (from rookie up to high school varsity) know and talk to each other about who the team-oriented parents are and who the problem parents are from previous seasons. Once you get tagged as a problem parent that can be a hard label to shake.  Take the long view and work hard to be a parent the coaches look forward to working with every season.

However, when you do have a legitimate problem with a coach, the problem should be addressed.  Don’t let problems slide to avoid the “blacklist.”  That’s not the point here.  Just address the problem in the correct way. This means during office hours or at the very least a sidebar with the head coach away from the other assistant coaches, the players and parents. Do not criticize the head coach in front of the players or other parents.  This creates confusion, divided loyalty and a toxic environment.

And What About Game Day Instructions from the Bleachers?   Just Don’t!  Players play, parents support, and coaches coach.

Parenting Plans & Coach Communications

Coach office hours and parenting plans – what are the offseason and seasonal office hours and what is the best way to communicate with the coach (phone, email, text, video conference, in person).  Does the coach know how to communicate with you and the ex?  Are there court-ordered limitations on contact? 

Make sure both you and the ex know when and how to contact the head coach.  Build this into the parenting plan if necessary if you and the ex sadly can’t sit in the same room together.  Set boundaries and respect them.

Divorce & Sports Parenting - My Interview with Winning Youth Coaching

My interview with Winning Youth Coaching #35.  We covered concussion management and tips for coaching kids with divorced parents. 

http://www.winningyouthcoaching.com/

Malcolm Gladwell: Why David Beats Goliath

Article from Malcolm Gladwell in the New Yorker on why David beats Goliath.  Counterintuitive advice on strengths and weaknesses and changing the rules.

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2009/05/11/how-david-beats-goliath

Zero Offseason: Divorce & Sports Parenting

Zero Offseason: Divorce & Sports Parenting

Available now @ Amazon. 

Tips on developing youth athletes while dealing with the challenges of a split household, how to instill mental toughness, and a guide for effective communication with youth coaches.

...When you buy this sports parenting guide send me an email and I'll send you a free PDF version to share with other sports parents and youth coaches.  This offer is good thru Wednesday, April 8th.

Thanks for reading!

http://www.amazon.com/Zero-Offseason-Divorce-Sports-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00PLY51RW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1428334085&sr=8-1&keywords=zero+offseason

Positive Coaches Alliance: Resource for Sports Parents

Lots of good free tips for youth coaches and sports parents.

https://www.positivecoach.org/

Sports Dad Sues High School Coach for $40M

“Sports-Dad Sues High School Track Coach for $40M.”

True story!  A track dad sued his son’s coach and school when the student-athlete was removed from the team for unexcused absences.  Track dad claimed this harmed his son’s chances at a college scholarship.  But what college coach wants to deal with that family for next four years?

…yaaaa, don’t be that guy.

i9 Sports

Link for i9 sports attached.  A great intro to youth sports done the right way.

https://www.i9sports.com/

You Sports, Burnout & Parental Conflict, Part II

Here’s two classic examples of youth sports burnout:

Former tennis star, Jennifer Capriotti, started training for 6 hours per day…at age four.  Capriotti turned pro at age 13, by age 14 she was a top ten player on tour competing against hyper-competitive players a decade older than her.  At age 17 Capriotti dropped out of tennis.  Biographies on the rise and fall of this tennis prodigy point to Capriotti’s parents’ divorce and the resulting turmoil as a contributing cause of her fall.    

Imagine being one of the best in world in a chosen sport, making unbelievable amounts of money to play a game, all the fame and recognition, endorsements, and you just…walk away.  Burnout stole a big chunk of Capriotti’s career.  She came back to the tour years and achieved more success but she lost several productive, peak years due to burnout and stressors off the court.  Capriotti lacked a solid foundation to build from and fall back on when the off court events showed up.

Next, there was Todd Marinovich, aka “Robo Quarterback.”  At age three Marinovich was working on football strategy with his dad, at age four he was scheduled for routine practice sessions.  All that singular focus paid off initially – he went on to star at QB for USC.  Marinovich’s success made him a first-round pick by the Oakland Raiders and he completed a promising rookie season. 

But burnout caught up with Marinovich.  A well-chronicled series of off-field substance abuse and legal troubles robbed Marinovich of a promising career in the NFL.  Like Capriotti, Marinovich lacked a solid foundation to build from and fall back on when the inevitable off field struggles showed up.