Sports-Dad Sues High School Track Coach for $40M.

“Sports-Dad Sues High School Track Coach for $40M.”

True story!  A track dad sued his son’s coach and school when the student-athlete was removed from the team for unexcused absences.  Track dad claimed this harmed his son’s chances at a college scholarship.  But what college coach wants to deal with that family for next four years?  

When only 3% of high school athletes earn an athletic scholarship this is not the best approach for sports parents.

Offseason Preparation

Preparation matters.  A 20 minute Apple product launch presentation requires 250 hours of prep time.  That's probably the right approach for the offseason.

Divorce Court Sucks

Litigation sucks.  Nobody wins except the lawyers billing by the hour.

If going through a divorce, or modifying a parenting plan or child support order look for options that will keep your situation out of court.

One newish method is called "collaborative law."  It's usually, but not always a more effective and less expensive and less time consuming approach to solving family law disputes.

The Intl Academy of Collaborative Professionals link is below for review.

https://www.collaborativepractice.com/

Grit vs. Lazy Talent

Grit vs. Lazy Talent

Mental toughness beats lazy talent over time, every time.     

Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods had phenomenal, unreal athletic talent in their prime. But what made Jordan and Woods scary competitors, according to their peers, was their grit, mental toughness, resilience and tunnel-vision.  Jordan and Woods would simply outlast and gut it out longer than their competition.  This mindset causes the competition to pack it in early.  There was a great story about Jordan (after one of his many retirements) that almost immediately after ending his basketball career he would be out on the driving range before the sun came up practicing and practicing and practicing his golf game.  That is grit.

There is no mistaking who has the mental edge before kickoff.  Both teams know it.  No need to hire a body language expert to see who has is mentally prepared to dominate.  When the Seattle Seahawks destroyed the explosive Denver Broncos offense in the 2014 Super Bowl it was clear what team had the mental edge.  The Broncos set offensive league records that year in passing yards, points scored, touchdowns and games with 50+ points.   The Seahawks handled the Broncos 43-8. The Broncos had packed it in before the coin toss.

Encourage this mindset in your student-athlete - develop a mental edge and drive to outlast the competition.

Deflategate

...America hasn't seen Boston cheat like this since Kennedy stole Illinois in '62.

Go Hawks.

Head Coaching Tip: Listen to Assistant Coaches

Running a football team gets hectic and it's easy to become myopic about goals and strategies.  But is always pays to listen to the ideas from assistant coaches.  Take the time to hear different perspectives.

Here's one classic example of a leadership failure:

In the 1970's an engineer named Steve Sasson invented the first digital camera.  Steve got a patent for the digital photography technology and took his new business model to his employer.  His boss's response??? "Meh, not for us.  Pass."

And who was Steve's employer??? Yep, that would be Kodak!  Kodak had a 30 year head start on digital photography, failed to see a changing business model, and eventually went into bankruptcy.

....Make sure to carve out time during a busy schedule to listen to the ideas of assistant coaches.   

Divorce Self Help for CA Sports Parents

A good self help legal resource for California sports parents.

This covers divorce basics, form requirements and timing, parenting plans, child support, wills & trusts, and other issues that divorced sports parents need to know about.

...worth bookmarking...

http://www.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp.htm

Patience is King

Progress Ain’t Linear

Patience is king.

So you’ve worked with your athlete to understand the benefits of focused purposeful practice, and you’ve built the mental silos for practice mode and game mode mindset.  And now?  It’s time to be patient.  And flexible. And resilient.

Youth athletes mature and develop at different paces.  The star one year becomes the role player the next, the role player the star, and back and forth it goes from player to player, season to season and sport to sport. 

Know and accept that progress on any goal will not be linear.  Typically, when first starting out on any new skill set, there may be rapid growth and improvement.  This can sometimes create a false sense of confidence and a set up for a let down later on. 

Once the athlete gains a certain level of ability, the progress slows down.  It has to.  At the beginning, there is so much room for improvement that any progress is noticeable from day to day.  However, when the athlete gets better the room for improvement shrinks.  This can be frustrating.  The athlete, parent, and coach are left thinking, “What happened?  Why are we losing steam on our rate of progression?”  But it is much easier and noticeable to move from a 10% free throw shooter to 50% (1/10 à 5/10) than it is to move from 80% to 90% (8/10 à 9/10). Be patient.

Rising Cost of Youth Sports - NYT

Good article from the New York Times on the rising costs of youth sports. 

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/17/your-money/rising-costs-of-youth-sports.html?_r=0

Divorce and Co-Sports Parenting

Divorce and Co-Parenting.   Divorced parents should get on the same page with sports scheduling and expectations.  Use the “best interests” standard when determining and allocating parental responsibilities.  The goal is to achieve what is in the best interests of the child, not the parents.  This includes the child’s emotional growth, health, safety, and physical care. I see the same problems every season with parents not communicating with each other – the player shows up at football practice embarrassed because he is missing his helmet between custodial transfers, or a parent routinely drops the player off late to practice, or removes the player from the team three games into a season to “show” their ex.   

Co-parents need to support the child’s athletic experience regardless of how toxic the relationship is between the “adults.”  First map out the yearly athletic schedule, including summer clinics, and then create a flexible parenting plan that supports those sports commitments (not the other way around).

One anecdote I share with parents every season is Alec Baldwin vs. Kim Basinger.  After a 9-year marriage, Baldwin and Basinger waged war with an 8-year custody battle, involving $3M in court costs and legal fees, and 90 + court proceedings.  Really?

As a divorce lawyer, I’ve seen how difficult it is for a parent to take the “high-road” when the ex is playing games and uncooperative.  But please remember the default position of doing what is in the “best interests” of the youth athlete.  

And I wish I could say that being the “bigger person” miraculously changes an ex’s bad behavior.  Chances are it won’t.  What it will do, however, is create a more positive experience for a child stuck between two warring parents.

Winning Youth Coaching Podcast

Great podcast for moms and dads interested in coaching youth sports but not sure where to start.

http://www.winningyouthcoaching.com/

Youth Sports & Concussions - Unintended Consequences

Unintended Consequences of Return-to-Play Rules

It was probably inevitable that gamesmanship allegations would arise under the new and evolving state-by-state “return to play” standards. 

In Massachusetts, an early adopter of “Return to Play” legislation, the New Mission High School’s girls’ basketball team was playing at Shawsheen Technical High School.  New Mission was leading Shawsheen in the fourth quarter of a playoff game when a key New Mission player drove the basket and got poked in the eye. 

The home team (Shawsheen) provided the athletic trainer for both teams at this game.  The trainer determined that the New Mission player suffered a concussion as a result of getting poked in the eye and sidelined her for the remainder of the game.  Shawsheen then rallied from an eight-point deficit to win the game and advance in the playoffs.  The player in question was taken to a hospital after the game where it was confirmed she did not have a concussion, but merely a bruised cornea. 

Whether the safety measures taken in the unusual New Mission case were appropriate or not, the need to be cautious with student-athletes and head injuries should remain the top priority for parents and coaches.  Concussion symptoms are just not as obvious as other sports-related injuries and the possible long-term adverse consequences are very high. 

Mistakes will be made.  We’ll be overly cautious at times and remove kids from play when they can be out on the field.  But the intent (of ‘return to play’ legislation) is to save kids’ lives, and to prevent preventable brain injuries.  The job of any league, coach, administrator, athletic director, parent or licensed healthcare professional is to make sure that a child’s safety is the number one priority.

Youth Sports & The Mental Game

Mental Skills Improvement – mental toughness and “grit” is the most important life skill taught in youth sports.  The kids should be learning how to deal with adversity and struggling though the volatility that comes along with any skill development.  Remember learning how to drive a stick shift?  Or a new computer program?  Or have you ever taken a frustrating golf lesson where the progress learned yesterday suddenly disappears overnight?  Kids need to learn to “stick with it.” 

What is the coach’s approach to teaching mental toughness.  If a coach has a history of kids quitting than that is a problem.  It’s sad to say, but there are a few coaches who will intentionally drive out weaker-skilled kids rather than “coach them up.”  These are just lousy, selfish coaches more interested in a win-loss record instead of teaching.  Winless or undefeated.  It doesn’t matter. What life skill is being taught and is it being taught the correct way? 

The kids should be pushed and challenged but not to the point of quitting. You and the ex should be on the same page with this expectation of the head coach and his or her coaching staff.

...on "Grit" - check out the TED Talk on this topic. Nice 6 minute presentation.

More sports parenting tips available @

http://www.amazon.com/Zero-Offseason-Divorce-Sports-Insanely-ebook/dp/B00PLY51RW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1419864677&sr=8-1&keywords=zero+offseason

 

 

 

Odds of Going Pro - So You're Saying There's a Chance...

Odds of Going Pro

Hit the books! 

Unfortunately, the odds of going from high school to the NCAA to the NFL are staggering. 

The NCAA reports the following stats:

High School Senior Football Players: 310,000

Percent of High School Players to the NCAA:  6.5%

Percent of High School Players to the Pros:  0.08%

Percent of NCAA players to the Pros:  1.7%

NCAA Football Players Drafted to the NFL:  254

Scary stuff. Out of roughly 310,000 high school senior football players, only 254 will be drafted into the NFL four years later.  And many of those 254 draftees will be cut before their rookie training camp wraps up.  And the average NFL career is only around four years.   Hit the books.

NCAA Recruiting & Boosters

Alumni & Boosters:  whatever I said about agents below, well, double that for boosters. 

Inducements are illegal. Money, cars, gifts, family housing, hell, a free taco lunch to talk about your son’s athletic future is off the table when it comes to boosters and the recruiting of prospective student-athletes.  And pretty much every program has a “Buddy Garrity” somewhere close by.

Under NCAA bylaws, boosters are prohibited from recruiting high school athletes both before and after a National Letter of Intent is signed.  And any recruiting violation by a booster is attributed to the school.

And the NCAA bylaws are unforgiving - under § 13.02.14.1, once an individual or entity is classified as a university’s “representative of athletic interests,” aka “booster,” they are considered a booster for life!  There is no coming back from Boosterville.  Beware Boosterville.

NCAA Recruiting & Agents

NCAA Recruiting & the Danger of Agents

 

“Agents”:  if there is one absolute in the recruiting game it is this – stay away from agents trying to build a relationship with your student-athlete.  There is no faster way to destroying amateur eligibility and putting a black mark on your reputation than accepting representation, vague promises of future representation, or benefits like housing (see Reggie Bush) or cars from an agent to a student-athlete or family.  And with the immediacy and reach of social media any interaction by a student-athlete or family with an agent will get noticed. 

The NCAA bylaws strictly prohibit this student-athlete/agent relationship under § 12.3.1.1 and .2.  This includes both written and verbal arrangements and both present and casual promises of future representation after your son has completed his amateur eligibility in that sport. 

But it’s not all bad news – the Seattle Seahawks QB Russell Wilson played professional baseball before entering his senior football season at the University of Wisconsin.  It is okay to play a sport like baseball professionally and amateur college football but review, review, and review again before signing an agency contract for any particular sport your son plays as a professional.  Make use of the school’s “Professional Sports Counseling Panel” to review proposed professional sports contracts, NCAA Bylaw § 12.3.4 

Lastly, keep in mind the general rule regarding use of agents under NCAA bylaw § 12.3.1:  “an agency contract not specifically limited in writing to a sport or particular sports shall be deemed applicable to ALL sports, and the individual shall be ineligible to participate in ANY sport.”

Control the Controllables

Imagine you are a major league pitcher within a single out from pitching a rare perfect game (only 23 pitchers have thrown perfect games in 135 years and 300,000 + games played).  On a routine ground ball the batter sprints to first base.  The ball is riffled to the first baseman in time for the out.  The batter is out.  Clearly.  Everyone in the stadium sees the play.  Well, not everyone.  The first base umpire blows it.  That first base ump mistakenly calls the base runner safe.  A blown call.  No more perfect game.  No bueno.  What do you do if you are that pitcher?  How do you respond?  Maybe your only chance at joining baseball’s history books blown by a mistake outside your control.  Your process was perfect; the outcome was not.   

How could you change the above outcome after the game?  You can’t.  Nobody can.  How much time would you spend replaying over and over again the idea that you got cheated, you were wronged, and all the frustration and baggage that comes along with this kind of disappointment.  And how does that baggage impact what you need to be focused on right now?

The above situation is a true story.  This happened on June 10, 2010 to Detroit pitcher, Armando Galarraga.  His response?  He pressed the delete button.  He took it in stride.  He didn’t let it eat him up inside.  He moved on to the next play, next game, next season (and he never did pitch a perfect game, only 23 in history have).  He put in the effort.  His process was correct.  The outcome within reach.  But the outcome didn’t match up with his process and effort.  Galarraga’s response after the game regarding the blown call, “Nobody’s perfect.”

The benefit of process-oriented goals is that the athlete gives up ownership on all the other factors outside his or her control.  The athlete can’t control the last play, the play after the next play, refs, weather, injuries, personnel decisions, coaching strategies, bleacher noise, etc.  So why bother burning calories on stuff that can’t be controlled?

More sports parenting tips @ Zero Offseason: Divorce, Youth Sports & Tips for the Insanely Busy Sports Mom.  Available at Amazon.com