Divorce and Co-Sports Parenting

Divorce and Co-Parenting.   Divorced parents should get on the same page with sports scheduling and expectations.  Use the “best interests” standard when determining and allocating parental responsibilities.  The goal is to achieve what is in the best interests of the child, not the parents.  This includes the child’s emotional growth, health, safety, and physical care. I see the same problems every season with parents not communicating with each other – the player shows up at football practice embarrassed because he is missing his helmet between custodial transfers, or a parent routinely drops the player off late to practice, or removes the player from the team three games into a season to “show” their ex.   

Co-parents need to support the child’s athletic experience regardless of how toxic the relationship is between the “adults.”  First map out the yearly athletic schedule, including summer clinics, and then create a flexible parenting plan that supports those sports commitments (not the other way around).

One anecdote I share with parents every season is Alec Baldwin vs. Kim Basinger.  After a 9-year marriage, Baldwin and Basinger waged war with an 8-year custody battle, involving $3M in court costs and legal fees, and 90 + court proceedings.  Really?

As a divorce lawyer, I’ve seen how difficult it is for a parent to take the “high-road” when the ex is playing games and uncooperative.  But please remember the default position of doing what is in the “best interests” of the youth athlete.  

And I wish I could say that being the “bigger person” miraculously changes an ex’s bad behavior.  Chances are it won’t.  What it will do, however, is create a more positive experience for a child stuck between two warring parents.