Leadership & Youth Sports - One Size Does Not Fit All

Some leadership tips from Success magazine - avoid the "one size fits all" approach.  Not everyone is motivated by the same things or communication style.  If your son or daughter's goal is to become the best in the state in soccer....but they also play high school basketball just to hang out with friends then that requires a different conversation on expectations, goal setting, and time commitment.  Ask questions and build an individualized plan around the goals for each sport played.

http://www.success.com/article/6-ways-to-motivate-people-to-step-up

Coddling of the American Mind - The Atlantic

Article from The Atlantic on the surreal cesspool that college campuses have become under political correctness.  Good reading for parents and kids heading off to school.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind/399356/

Parent-Coach Communication

....these are some basic expectations that every sports-parent should have of their kid's coach:

Player Safety: every coach should be certified in concussion management and there must be a “return to play” system for when a player suffers an apparent head injury.  Ask questions and get specific.  Full-contact practices should be limited in amount and duration. Players should be matched up against similar players of size and ability during practice drills.

Verbal/Physical Abuse: There is zero tolerance for youth sports coaches with outsized, inflated egos.  Any sign of verbal or physical abuse must be stopped and reported up immediately.  The days of grabbing kids’ face masks to get a point across are over. 

Positive Experience: The good coaches know to praise publicly and to correct privately. Does the coach take five minutes at the end of each practice to teach lessons?  Sports-parents should expect that some amount of time on the practice field is spent teaching life skills.  It doesn’t really matter in the long run if the team goes winless or undefeated.  What life skills are being learned?    

Communication with Parents: It is the responsibility of the head coach to communicate the “how” and “when” to address any issues.  Respect the coaches’ office hours.  Also understand that most head coaches expect parents to discuss issues like playing time, positions, and other personnel decisions directly with the head coach.  It is bad, bad form for sports-parents to blast away at volunteer assistant coaches regarding playing time.  Avoid the “blacklist” and talk to the head coach and not assistants with any gripes.  And remember to multiple the amount of time you complain to the head coach x the number of other sports-parents of the team.  Respect the coach’s time.   

Competent coaches also appreciate hearing from sports-parents before the season.  Sports-parents who want the best for the team and understand the parent-athlete-coach roles are a huge asset to team development.  Also, if there are special education needs or family dynamics to keep in make early contact with the head coach.  Again, remember that the coach is tracking 20 + kids and their parents every season.  Do your part and make it easier on the coach to understand how to help your child reach his or her potential.

More tips on parent-athlete-coach communication in Zero Offseason available @ www.amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Zero-Offseason-Divorce-Sports-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00PLY51RW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1440590933&sr=8-1&keywords=zero+offseason

TED Talk: Balance & Sports Parenting

Great TED Talk on finding balance in parenting.

https://www.ted.com/talks/jennifer_senior_for_parents_happiness_is_a_very_high_bar?language=en

Creative Problem Solving - Supermensch

Nice article from Both Sides of the Table on creative problem solving - useful for divorce negotiations, entrepreneurs, and parent-coach communications.

http://www.bothsidesofthetable.com/2015/08/18/my-one-wish-for-all-startup-employees/

Back to School: Best Practices for Sports Parenting

Best Practices for Sports Parenting:

Players play, parents support, and coaches coach.  Simple rules; complex roles. 

Sports parents won’t agree with every decision the coach makes.  You may not like the coach, the style of play or personnel decisions.  But if you trust the coach with your kid’s physical and mental welfare then please allow the coach to coach - they earned the title “coach” through many hours of unpaid time on the field away from family, paying and traveling for coaching education safety clinics and studying game film on the weekends. 

While parents focus on their child, the coach focuses on the big picture which includes your child and another 20 + kids depending on the sport and season.  That’s a lot of responsibility, decisions to make, and competing interests to balance among the parents.  And for every team parent that wants their child to focus on a single position all season there is another parent that wants their child to play as many positions as possible during the season.  Bottom line is that it is the coaching staff’s role to decide who plays where and when.   

If you want to work with your child on technique outside of practice, definitely talk to the coach beforehand and find out what to focus on so you are in step with the coach’s expectations.  Teaching your child a skill set that contradicts what the coaches expect just creates confusion, frustration and divided loyalty – don’t put a twelve year old in the position of deciding whether to disappoint mom/dad or the coach with performing what has been taught. 

As a football coach, I’ve watched inexperienced sports parents with good intentions working with their sons before practice teaching “wrong” technique.  Talk to the coach. 

Keep in mind that the best way to create a positive experience for your child is to be the emotional backstop before and after rough practices and games. Especially in a difficult divorce situation where the child is “ping-ponging” between households and conflicting expectations.  Kids need consistent expectations so they can feel confident in what they are trying to learn.  Be the emotional backstop and allow the coach to coach.  Stay focused on providing unconditional support for the ups and downs of youth sports.

More tips in my book, Zero Offseason, available at www.amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Zero-Offseason-Divorce-Sports-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00PLY51RW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1440175265&sr=8-1&keywords=zero+offseason

The Hollywood Crowd & Competitive Sports Parenting

Hollywood and the competitive world of sports parenting.  From The Hollywood Reporter.

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/la-parents-sports-freak-you-811588