Some leadership tips from Success magazine - avoid the "one size fits all" approach. Not everyone is motivated by the same things or communication style. If your son or daughter's goal is to become the best in the state in soccer....but they also play high school basketball just to hang out with friends then that requires a different conversation on expectations, goal setting, and time commitment. Ask questions and build an individualized plan around the goals for each sport played.
http://www.success.com/article/6-ways-to-motivate-people-to-step-up
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Coddling of the American Mind - The Atlantic
Article from The Atlantic on the surreal cesspool that college campuses have become under political correctness. Good reading for parents and kids heading off to school.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind/399356/
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind/399356/
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Parent-Coach Communication
....these are some basic expectations that
every sports-parent should have of their kid's coach:
Player Safety: every coach should be certified in concussion management and there must be a “return to play” system for when a player suffers an apparent head injury. Ask questions and get specific. Full-contact practices should be limited in amount and duration. Players should be matched up against similar players of size and ability during practice drills.
Verbal/Physical Abuse: There is zero tolerance for youth sports coaches with outsized, inflated egos. Any sign of verbal or physical abuse must be stopped and reported up immediately. The days of grabbing kids’ face masks to get a point across are over.
Positive Experience: The good coaches know to praise publicly and to correct privately. Does the coach take five minutes at the end of each practice to teach lessons? Sports-parents should expect that some amount of time on the practice field is spent teaching life skills. It doesn’t really matter in the long run if the team goes winless or undefeated. What life skills are being learned?
Communication with Parents: It is the responsibility of the head coach to communicate the “how” and “when” to address any issues. Respect the coaches’ office hours. Also understand that most head coaches expect parents to discuss issues like playing time, positions, and other personnel decisions directly with the head coach. It is bad, bad form for sports-parents to blast away at volunteer assistant coaches regarding playing time. Avoid the “blacklist” and talk to the head coach and not assistants with any gripes. And remember to multiple the amount of time you complain to the head coach x the number of other sports-parents of the team. Respect the coach’s time.
Competent coaches also appreciate hearing from sports-parents before the season. Sports-parents who want the best for the team and understand the parent-athlete-coach roles are a huge asset to team development. Also, if there are special education needs or family dynamics to keep in make early contact with the head coach. Again, remember that the coach is tracking 20 + kids and their parents every season. Do your part and make it easier on the coach to understand how to help your child reach his or her potential.
More tips on parent-athlete-coach communication in Zero Offseason available @ www.amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/Zero-Offseason-Divorce-Sports-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00PLY51RW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1440590933&sr=8-1&keywords=zero+offseason
Player Safety: every coach should be certified in concussion management and there must be a “return to play” system for when a player suffers an apparent head injury. Ask questions and get specific. Full-contact practices should be limited in amount and duration. Players should be matched up against similar players of size and ability during practice drills.
Verbal/Physical Abuse: There is zero tolerance for youth sports coaches with outsized, inflated egos. Any sign of verbal or physical abuse must be stopped and reported up immediately. The days of grabbing kids’ face masks to get a point across are over.
Positive Experience: The good coaches know to praise publicly and to correct privately. Does the coach take five minutes at the end of each practice to teach lessons? Sports-parents should expect that some amount of time on the practice field is spent teaching life skills. It doesn’t really matter in the long run if the team goes winless or undefeated. What life skills are being learned?
Communication with Parents: It is the responsibility of the head coach to communicate the “how” and “when” to address any issues. Respect the coaches’ office hours. Also understand that most head coaches expect parents to discuss issues like playing time, positions, and other personnel decisions directly with the head coach. It is bad, bad form for sports-parents to blast away at volunteer assistant coaches regarding playing time. Avoid the “blacklist” and talk to the head coach and not assistants with any gripes. And remember to multiple the amount of time you complain to the head coach x the number of other sports-parents of the team. Respect the coach’s time.
Competent coaches also appreciate hearing from sports-parents before the season. Sports-parents who want the best for the team and understand the parent-athlete-coach roles are a huge asset to team development. Also, if there are special education needs or family dynamics to keep in make early contact with the head coach. Again, remember that the coach is tracking 20 + kids and their parents every season. Do your part and make it easier on the coach to understand how to help your child reach his or her potential.
More tips on parent-athlete-coach communication in Zero Offseason available @ www.amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/Zero-Offseason-Divorce-Sports-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00PLY51RW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1440590933&sr=8-1&keywords=zero+offseason
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
TED Talk: Balance & Sports Parenting
Great TED Talk on finding balance in parenting.
https://www.ted.com/talks/jennifer_senior_for_parents_happiness_is_a_very_high_bar?language=en
https://www.ted.com/talks/jennifer_senior_for_parents_happiness_is_a_very_high_bar?language=en
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Creative Problem Solving - Supermensch
Nice article from Both Sides of the Table on creative problem solving - useful for divorce negotiations, entrepreneurs, and parent-coach communications.
http://www.bothsidesofthetable.com/2015/08/18/my-one-wish-for-all-startup-employees/
http://www.bothsidesofthetable.com/2015/08/18/my-one-wish-for-all-startup-employees/
Friday, August 21, 2015
Back to School: Best Practices for Sports Parenting
Best Practices for Sports Parenting:
More tips in my book, Zero Offseason, available at www.amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/Zero-Offseason-Divorce-Sports-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00PLY51RW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1440175265&sr=8-1&keywords=zero+offseason
Players play, parents support, and coaches coach. Simple rules; complex roles.
Sports parents won’t agree with every decision the
coach makes. You may not like the coach,
the style of play or personnel decisions.
But if you trust the coach with your kid’s physical and mental welfare
then please allow the coach to coach - they earned the title “coach” through
many hours of unpaid time on the field away from family, paying and traveling
for coaching education safety clinics and studying game film on the
weekends.
While parents focus on their child, the coach focuses
on the big picture which includes your child and another 20 + kids depending on
the sport and season. That’s a lot of
responsibility, decisions to make, and competing interests to balance among the
parents. And for every team parent that
wants their child to focus on a single position all season there is another
parent that wants their child to play as many positions as possible during the
season. Bottom line is that it is the
coaching staff’s role to decide who plays where and when.
If you want to work with your child on technique
outside of practice, definitely talk to the coach beforehand and find out what
to focus on so you are in step with the coach’s expectations. Teaching your child a skill set that
contradicts what the coaches expect just creates confusion, frustration and
divided loyalty – don’t put a twelve year old in the position of deciding
whether to disappoint mom/dad or the coach with performing what has been
taught.
As a football coach, I’ve watched inexperienced sports
parents with good intentions working with their sons before practice teaching
“wrong” technique. Talk to the
coach.
Keep
in mind that the best way to create a positive experience for your child is to
be the emotional backstop before and after rough practices and games. Especially
in a difficult divorce situation where the child is “ping-ponging” between
households and conflicting expectations.
Kids need consistent expectations so they can feel confident in what
they are trying to learn. Be the
emotional backstop and allow the coach to coach. Stay focused on providing unconditional
support for the ups and downs of youth sports.More tips in my book, Zero Offseason, available at www.amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/Zero-Offseason-Divorce-Sports-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00PLY51RW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1440175265&sr=8-1&keywords=zero+offseason
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
The Hollywood Crowd & Competitive Sports Parenting
Hollywood and the competitive world of sports parenting. From The Hollywood Reporter.
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/la-parents-sports-freak-you-811588
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/la-parents-sports-freak-you-811588
Monday, August 17, 2015
Divorce Negotiations: the Frog & the Scorpion
Great story from Both Sides of the Table on negotiating. When the other side shows you who they are...believe them.
http://www.bothsidesofthetable.com/2015/07/26/what-you-can-learn-from-a-scorpion/
http://www.bothsidesofthetable.com/2015/07/26/what-you-can-learn-from-a-scorpion/
Saturday, August 15, 2015
Divorce & Sports Parenting: Seven Mental Roadblocks
The Seven Mental Roadblocks in Youth Sports:
Seven Mental Roadblocks. If this is your child’s first sports season, review those areas where he or she has struggled making progress outside of sports (school work, chores, etc). It usually involves a combination of these seven roadblocks: procrastination; perfectionism; fear of failure; analysis paralysis; limited comfort zone; indecision, or complacency. Expect to see these same roadblocks pop up in their athletic development. Develop a plan to keep them motivated.
...More tips on sports parenting in Zero Offseason available @ www.amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/Zero-Offseason-Divorce-Sports-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00PLY51RW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1439657599&sr=8-1&keywords=zero+offseason
Seven Mental Roadblocks. If this is your child’s first sports season, review those areas where he or she has struggled making progress outside of sports (school work, chores, etc). It usually involves a combination of these seven roadblocks: procrastination; perfectionism; fear of failure; analysis paralysis; limited comfort zone; indecision, or complacency. Expect to see these same roadblocks pop up in their athletic development. Develop a plan to keep them motivated.
...More tips on sports parenting in Zero Offseason available @ www.amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/Zero-Offseason-Divorce-Sports-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00PLY51RW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1439657599&sr=8-1&keywords=zero+offseason
Monday, August 10, 2015
NCAA Athletic Scholarship Odds
“Numbers
Don’t Lie”
More sports parenting tips in Zero Offseason, available @ www.amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/Zero-Offseason-Student-Development-Recruiting-ebook/dp/B00XT6XAEK/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1439217080&sr=8-2&keywords=zero+offseason
3% of high school athletes earn an athletic scholarship
1% of high school athletes earn a “4-year” D1
scholarship
25% of frosh athletic scholarship recipients are no
longer on scholarship entering their sophomore year of college
80% of scholarship/financial aid are non-D1 level
opportunities
.08%. And
finally, of the 1M plus high school football players only .08% will
eventually make it to the NFL. Those
are…long odds.
More sports parenting tips in Zero Offseason, available @ www.amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/Zero-Offseason-Student-Development-Recruiting-ebook/dp/B00XT6XAEK/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1439217080&sr=8-2&keywords=zero+offseason
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Student-Athlete Development & NCAA Recruiting: Burnout
Burnout & Breathing Room, part II
http://www.amazon.com/Zero-Offseason-Student-Development-Recruiting-ebook/dp/B00XT6XAEK/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1438866729&sr=8-2&keywords=zero+offseason
Here’s two classic examples of youth sports burnout:
Former tennis star, Jennifer Capriotti, started
training for 6 hours per day…at age four.
Capriotti turned pro at age 13, by age 14 she was a top ten player on
tour competing against hyper-competitive players a decade older than her. At age 17 Capriotti dropped out of
tennis. Biographies on the rise and fall
of this tennis prodigy point to Capriotti’s parents’ divorce and the resulting
turmoil as a contributing cause of her fall.
Imagine being one of the best in world in a chosen
sport, making unbelievable amounts of money to play a game, all the fame and
recognition, endorsements, and you just…walk away. Burnout stole a big chunk of Capriotti’s
career. She came back to the tour years
and achieved more success but she lost several productive, peak years due to
burnout and stressors off the court.
Capriotti lacked a solid foundation to build from and fall back on when
the off court events showed up.
Next, there was Todd Marinovich, aka “Robo
Quarterback.” At age three Marinovich
was working on football strategy with his dad, at age four he was scheduled for
routine practice sessions. All that
singular focus paid off initially – he went on to star at QB for USC. Marinovich’s success made him a first-round
pick by the Oakland Raiders and he completed a promising rookie season.
But burnout caught up with Marinovich. A well-chronicled series of off-field
substance abuse and legal troubles robbed Marinovich of a promising career in
the NFL. Like Capriotti, Marinovich
lacked a solid foundation to build from and fall back on when the inevitable
off field struggles showed up.
These are just two examples of burnout. Of course there are many examples of youth
athletes with singular focus from an early age that experience success without
too much off-field trouble (Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps for example). But for every Capriotti, Marinovich or Phelps
there are hundreds of thousands of kids that won’t go pro, kids that just want
to play a game after school. And if a
kid loves sports, but quits at age 13 from “burnout,” then that is a
problem. But it is a fixable problem –
(1) sports parents must first get on the same page, and only then (2) align
those parental goals with the athlete.
Burnout is a thief.
Burnout steals all the great life skills that youth sports can
teach. It is up to the sports-parent to
get on the same page and align their goals with that of the
student-athlete. And it is also up to
the sports-parent to create breathing room and purposefully schedule downtime
from competitive youth sports.
For more tips on student-athlete development & NCAA recruiting see Zero Offseason @ www.amazon.comhttp://www.amazon.com/Zero-Offseason-Student-Development-Recruiting-ebook/dp/B00XT6XAEK/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1438866729&sr=8-2&keywords=zero+offseason
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Student-Athlete Development & NCAA Recruiting Tips
Evaluate - Burnout & Breathing Room
Roughly 70% of kids quit sports by age 13.
Kids stop playing sports for various reasons but the
main reason cited is “burnout.” Burnout
by…age 13?
Test yourself again and again – first, are both parents
on the same page regarding youth sports time, expenses and expectations? Second, are the parents’ goals aligned with
the student-athlete’s abilities and interests?
A study by i-9 Sports surveyed 400 working sports-moms
on the impact of youth sports on the family.
The results? Not so good.
25% of sports-moms reported conflict with spouses over
sports expenses and deciding which sports the child could play;
66% of sports-moms reported that youth sports
interfered with work and promotions; and
76% of sports-moms reported that they were glad when
season ended!
Kids are sponges.
They will pick up on parental conflict no matter how well the parents
shield this from their child. And if mom
and dad are arguing back and forth on sports expectations that will obviously
have a negative impact on how the youth athlete views playing sports. Parental conflict is a contributing cause of
burnout. This is why it is so important for sports parents to get on the same
page before even thinking about hiring a personal coach, sports psychologist or
nutritionist for the student-athlete.
Parental support is the foundation for anything else that follows.
Here’s two classic examples of youth sports burnout....to be continued...
More tips on student-athlete development & NCAA recruiting in Zero Offseason, available at www.Amazon.com
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Zero Offseason - Interview with WSJ's Small Biz Report
Very much appreciate the interview with Gordon Deal of the Wall Street Journal's "Small Business Report." We covered my book Zero Offseason and the ABC's of Divorce & Sports Parenting.
If you pick up Zero Offseason @ Amazon thru Friday, Aug 7th email me and I'll send you a free PDF copy of the book to share with other sports parents, student-athletes and coaches.
www.amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/Zero-Offseason-Divorce-Sports-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00PLY51RW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1438695625&sr=8-1&keywords=zero+offseason
If you pick up Zero Offseason @ Amazon thru Friday, Aug 7th email me and I'll send you a free PDF copy of the book to share with other sports parents, student-athletes and coaches.
www.amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/Zero-Offseason-Divorce-Sports-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00PLY51RW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1438695625&sr=8-1&keywords=zero+offseason
Monday, August 3, 2015
Failure & Survivors
Good article from Both Sides of the Table re: grit, failure & entrepreneurs.
http://www.bothsidesofthetable.com/2015/07/29/survivors/
http://www.bothsidesofthetable.com/2015/07/29/survivors/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)